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Bootcamp Without Crystal Is Like Popcorn Without Salt

Got to Bootcamp this morning with my butt dragging. We had a Karaoke Apocalypse show last night and even though I drank only club soda, I went to bed at 12:30 and got up at 6:00, so I was sleeeeeeeeeeeepy.

I was also confused when I arrived at our meeting spot and no one else was there. Did I forget where I was supposed to go? Was class canceled? Was I dreaming? I was momentarily flummoxed, and while I stood frozen, trying to sort out what to do, Annie arrived. And then Blake and Carla. But no Crystal. Cell phones were consulted and the story emerged: car trouble. We were on our own.

It’s a testament to how great Crystal is as our coach and how much we love CrossFit that we decided to hold our class anyway. There was no question or hesitation, really; we came to workout and that’s what we were gonna do.

I made up our workout. I give it a B-/C+.

We had zero equipment — not even a towel to double as a mat, and I forget to wear my heart rate monitor this morning, so we didn’t have a stop watch either. The other requirements? It had to include at least 39 burpees, and it had to last until at least 7:25.

This is what I cooked up. As it turns out, it was not a wildly popular plan. But the girls did it — almost with complaint.

CrossFit warmup

4 rounds:
10 burpees
20 jump squats
30 situps
40 supermans
1 hill sprint

When that was done, it was only 7:20, so we did this:

2 rounds:
20 step-ups (Carla did jumps ’cause she’s an excellent jumper)
15 triceps dips

And then, ’cause it’s Friday and we usually do planks on Friday:

plank, 1 minute

I was filthy by the time we were finished. With no mat as a barrier, my sweat mixed with the dust and gravel to make a sticky, gritty mud that stuck to my arms, chest, ankles, forehead, and clothes. The mud on my shirt and pants attracted dried bits of grass so I looked like a veal parmesan patty, only not tasty. At one point, I realized I was doing supermans right over an ant hole, and I’m pretty sure that when I was planking, my elbow was planted in dried up bird poop.

Also, to my bitter disappointment, I forgot to incorporate bear crawls into the workout. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! I love the bear crawl, and scampering up the hill would have been totally kick ass.

Next time.

Anyway, the take-away is: We missed Crystal a lot. But it’s pretty great to know we can crank out a decent workout on our own if we have to.

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2 Responses to “Bootcamp Without Crystal Is Like Popcorn Without Salt”

  1. Team CS says:

    “Coach Mel” was pretty kick-ass if you ask me. :)

    Annnd, you incorporated burpees into the workout so we didn’t have to stay and put in the extra work!!

    Do I smell a future certification with Mel’s name on it? You bet I do.

    Love you!

    -Carla

  2. Melicious says:

    Sweet talker.

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