I’m trying to look at my current thyroid predicament as a science experiment. Eventually – say within the next three to six months – it will be figured out, and until then, I’m trying to dispassionately observe my habits and how I feel. Subject reported fatigue over the weekend despite sleeping 10 hours concurrently on both Friday and Saturday night. Subject reports no change in energy levels after first week on increased Synthroid dose.
My parents, Dave, and my CrossFit pals (Maggie, Stacey, Blake: I’m particularly looking at you) will tell you I’m having limited success with that particular scientific perspective (a.k.a., I’m whining and fretting a lot). It’s damn hard some days not to fall into the “woe is me” trap. While I am grateful that my biggest health problem is the fairly-easy-to-treat hypothyroidism, I’m not being a good patient. Because I’m not patient.
I want to feel better now.
Some days, I feel almost like my old self for a few hours: I find myself unexpectedly singing or feeling the urge to write. The fog in my noggin clears. The winter air is brisk not cold. Birdies chirp in the trees.
Other days, like this morning, the alarm startles me out of a creepy-deep sleep, my eyes and fingers are puffy, I can’t get warm, and I want nothing more than to stay in bed. All day.
This morning, I almost turned the car around three blocks from my house because the desire to lie down was so strong.
But I decided that I can’t wait until I feel 100% to go to my workouts. If I’m tired, I can go slower or lift less, but I can’t use my thyroid as a blanket excuse to skip training. 1) I will be a lunatic without movement and seeing my friends. 2) Doing my workouts at a reduced capacity, if necessary, isn’t going to hurt anything except my ego.
So I went to class to face CrossFit Total.
The warmup was pretty awful. Everything felt creaky, and I was way behind everyone else on my reps. Like… they were on number eight and I was still languishing back in five’s territory. The 400m run would have brought me to tears if Blake hadn’t been by my side talking about socks. I was feeling quite sorry for myself.
Then something unexpected happened.
Stacey and I started warming up for our back squats to attempt our new One Rep Back Squat Maximum™, and I started having fun. I have to give the credit to Stacey; she has a “let’s try it and see” attitude that makes it impossible to get lost in thinking about how I should be better or I should be stronger. She makes it easy to admit the heavy weight is scary and to go ahead and try it anyway.
I got new PRs on my back squat (155#) and shoulder press (80#), up five pounds from last time… because Stacey encouraged me to try it.
Thanks a lot, Stacey, for robbing me of a reason to whine today.
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