Cheating At Solitaire
This whole eating thing can be really hard.
It shouldn’t be.
I get hungry. I eat clean food. End of story.
Except pesky things like emotions – and the bratty need to act out against rules – intervene and soon, I’m talking myself out of a face-first fall into a bowl of miniature Halloween-wrapped Snickers bars (potentially while wearing a silly costume) – or I’m talking myself into a “cheat dinner” (even though I don’t really want it) because I “deserve a treat.”
A few weeks ago, Dallas and Melissa at Whole9Life wrote about The trouble with points. In a nutshell, using external award/punishment to inspire behavior change in ourselves or others ultimately backfires.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot as I (re)commit to my Whole30-inspired October Cleanup II: The Reckoning.
Yes, if I “cheat,” I will feel compelled to confess it here… I’ll probably cop to it on the Whole30 blog posts… and I’ll whine about it at my morning workout – so there’s public shaming involved.
But that’s nothing.
Y’all are kind and loving and forgiving and supportive. I know you’ll understand if I eat too many nuts or snarf a pound of grapes in a feeding frenzy.
The problem is not “breaking the rules” or “cheating the system” and then suffering some kind of external punishment. The real problem is cheating myself.
The entire point of the Whole30 is to see how I feel if I totally clean up my diet. Not how you feel about me or yourself if I clean up my diet.
When I think about it that way, the sexiness of “cheating” completely evaporates.
It’s easy to believe that a spoonful of Sunbutter eaten directly from the jar at midnight with the fridge door propped against my hip is “getting away with something.” It feels deliciously illicit and indulgent. (And who doesn’t respond to that?!)
But reality turns the Sunbutter to sawdust in my mouth.
I cheat the system, I cheat myself.
And, ultimately, that is no fun.
(Damn it.)
Finally – at the risk of being a little groovy for y’all – isn’t the food just a metaphor for life? The same is true for any aspect of living in which we’re not true to ourselves. Working a job that doesn’t jive with your core values? Not feeling your emotions in all their scary, beautiful, overwhelming power? Trying to meet someone else’s expectations about what your life should be? Honestly, I think that’s why the Whole30 is so challenging. It looks like it’s about food, and we talk about the food, and you can make it just about food, but it’s really about you. Me. Us. And life.
Tags: motivation
24 Responses to “Cheating At Solitaire”
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Love your post today!!! It is SOOOOO true on many levels. I've been starting to have the same realizations about cheating with food, too, and it's so nice to see someone else write them out.
Glad you like it! Turns out, this is not the first time I've had this idea! I wrote a similar post in July 2009… slightly different context, same basic idea: be true to oneself 'cause that's what matters.
http://theclothesmakethegirl.blogspot.com/2009/07/cheating-at-solitaire.html
Good post! I think many of us relate.
P.S I made your chili today minus the beer. Just had a small bowl and it is pretty yummy and spicy! I would have enjoyed some cheese on top
Hey, Brenda! I've been making it without the beer lately, too — and a few extra shakes of hot sauce
We can all relate, Melissa. I've been reading your blog for months now, and I see you posting to the Whole30 comments, as well. You've got some real insights that not everyone gets. The biggest challenge isn't taming the tongue, but taming the mind that controls it. Thanks for all you do. Ken "Chappy B+"
Thanks, Chappy B+! It's been a long haul and if I have perspective others don't, it's just 'cause I've been plugging away at it for so long. Melissa Urban REALLY helped me re-calibrate the way I think about food, but that doesn't mean it's easy now — but it's much healthier and most of the time, I don't think about it anymore, which is AWESOME.
Spot on Melissa! I needed that!
I'm so grateful for you! These recipes really help me stick to my clean eating. I am not a cook! Well…I'm working on it!
LG
Carla & LG! Glad my blog is helpful. Thank YOU for reading!
I shared on FB I liked this post so much. So says the girl who had not one but TWO pieces of cake at a fancy dinner meeting/lecture… it's just like a wedding, I rationalized. Bad, Meghan, very bad.
Good Meghan… who slipped and ate cake. No bad
Thanks for sharing on FB!
"Y'all are kind and loving and forgiving and supportive. I know you'll understand if I eat too many nuts or snarf a pound of grapes in a feeding frenzy."
I dunno about "y'all." I'm over here thinking "Pull yourself together, girl, and just do it already!" It's only thirty days! =D
And that is why it's good to have YOU in the audience.
Ha! I'm glad you think so. Now put on your big-girl pants and get happy about eating clean!
If I can eat 100% clean while at a wedding last weekend, and I'm visiting family in southern Indiana this weekend, you can eat 100% clean, too. Go, girl!
Mel,
Thanks for the shout-out, and for being so present and supportive in the W30 comments. We love you!
Dallas + Melissa
Love you back!
Great post! I’m on day 7 of my Whole30 and I’ve finally stopped feeling angry, foggy, sluggish, and sad. It’s not all flowers and rainbows, cuz man would I love some dairy creamer in my morning joe, but it’s way easier and I feel great. I am shocked. Best yet, my belly doesn’t puff out from the extra grains and carbs it’s trying to figure out what to do with. Thanks for the reminder that this is “me against me” and if I cheat, I cheat myself.
Bravo!
Congratulations on your first week! Sounds like you’re turning the corner into AwesomeTown… yay!
Hi i am on day 7 of the whole30 and i am not 100% oh yay no sweats but i am getting there. I use to be a sugar bad card eat out junkie. An over a weekend i decided no more and went cold turkey! It’s hard but i am doing it! My husband loves that i eat at home now, we will be able to save so much. The only problem is i dont have alot of support. An i find it hard to navigate around web sites, but I’ll keep my head up and keep reading. Hopefully i can learn to navigate this page since whole30 uses you alot:) thanks for reading.
Thanks, Great post!!! I’m starting my whole30 over tomorrow! Not having support from home has proven to be difficult. Thanks for reminding my why I wanted to do this in the first place.
Congrats on tackling the Whole30. It can take a few false starts to really get it, but the investment is worth it. Keep on keepin’ on! We’re here for you!
Excellent analogy! And so true. Simple and sweet – a great post! PS just got your book and started reading. Lookin forward to cooking!
needed this today. great post.
Thanks very much Melissa for a wonderful post. I am on my 8th day of the whole 30 and your post resonated with me!